Yesterday I got a massage, but by the end of the massage instead of feeling good I felt low. I’ve been numb ever since. I just don’t feel like myself and I am not enjoying myself or getting things done, and I’m having dark thoughts. I need to pull myself out of this before it becomes a full blown depression. I’m not in pain, so that’s good. I’m just numb.
I always have a hard time dealing with Craig’s underways and I think it is just catching up to me. It is a lot of loneliness and change. I don’t do well with either one.
I could feel a lot worse, but I am definitely sliding downward. Everything is taking way more effort than it should.
In the hopes of making sure today isn’t a total loss, I’m making a list of things I need and want to do and I’m going to see if I can get to all of them. So far it is 3:30 and I’ve already taken a shower, made lunch, and done a load of dishes. Not an amazingly productive day, but could be a lot worse.
So here’s my list
-take a hot bath
-play some educational games with Angelica
-get the toys picked up
-put away the laundry in the dryer
Hopefully this list will give me the accountability to actually do some of these things.