Empty House

Angelica has started school, and it feels beyond strange. My beautiful baby girl isn’t at home with me anymore. I dropped her off at school this morning and now here I am – sitting on the porch swing with no one to cuddle. Angelica always follows me to the porch swing to cuddle.

She was psyched on her first day. She woke up super early and couldn’t get back to sleep. I got to walk her to the gate, and then into the playground. I cried. I tried to stop myself, and I held the worst of it back for later, but I cried. Her teacher was really sweet. She passed around tissue packets to parents and included a sweet little poem about leaving your child with their teacher.

I went to a breakfast to meet other moms. They seemed very nice. Volunteers are needed in Angelica’s classroom. I need to figure out what I can commit to. They are seeking weekly volunteers, as well as party plans. The only party I might be good at is a Halloween party, and it looks like they won’t do those, so I’m out of party planning. I might read to the class.

I know Angelica will learn a lot, make friends, learn new skills, and have fun. Craig and I made the right decision. But I would be lying if I said I didn’t have tears in my eyes right now.

Praying she has a good year.

The Scene

…waiting for a train

Rolling a die
On the brink
Of greatness

…on the tracks
Dust of the less fortunate

…across town
Someone waits for him
There are salty crimes
To be answered for

he slips into the sun

Journey to 4

When the blood covered
the stones,
3 was created

It was then
That the staple guns
Came out

1 was a motion – imperceptible
2 was an equation –
the question and the answer.
3 looked like a rain puddle.
3 was made of metal.

With a blowtorch,
The creation of 4 as a
fine piece of art

The whole is less than
The sum of its parts

Permanent subtraction,
Each a negative
Sucking from her own math

Under the bitter heat
This metal does not
Waver.