In my glitter book
I write stories.
Adverb symphonies,
I explain preciously.
Expediently
is always precocious.
The problem with plot
is a lack of self-awareness.
Leaving my pen to face
her fears on the precipice
of the table,
I see the morning’s
crumbs
rearrange—
spell,
but why should I care?
On the rise. Physically and mentally I am improving. I am sitting down while Angelica gets tutoring.
Craig is liking his new job and I am so happy for him. I miss him though. He is already working late hours, and he is on week one of training with his predecessor. His previous schedule constantly rotated between days, swings, and mids during the week, so he was exhausted. That schedule was awful for him and I am glad he’s done with it. However, the one advantage of that job was that we had a ton of family time. We really loved that, especially since he was just coming off a sea tour.
I doubt we will ever have family time like that again.
It is May 9th and it has been snowing today. Nothing that sticks this time, but still – it’s mid May.
Soon I will be taking Angelica on a mommy daughter date. She misses them. It has been a month now. She is going on a daddy daughter date this weekend.
I am in a state of bliss listening to lectures on Great Courses. I am diving into linguistics, natural history (dinosaurs and terror birds!!!), and dystopian and utopian fiction. It is the intellectual joy of college without the expense of actually getting another degree. I do take notes sometimes though. I can’t help myself.
Rivers of diamond water
cascade along the coast.
Men dip their hands in the water
come out like living seizures.
Coming and going in the rivers,
Laser beams.
Women on the shore
Collect sharp rocks.
My husband is cloaked
in information.
When he slips my pelerine
off my shoulders,
the heat of my borrowed home
sinks into my chest,
exhausted.
Mouth on mine,
he breathes empire into me.
Always his tongue studded
in stats.
Interested,
I absorb his mind.
I absorb everything.
I absolve the world of nothing.
My husband kisses me
with countries I’ll never see.
With all his facts he
warms my figure.
I got Angelica’s speech and tutoring appointments rescheduled. I am not leaving the house. Worn out. Very tired. Depressed.
While I am at home I hope to revise some of my poetry and get it ready. I am trying to clear my head.
I am tired. I am depressed. I need to isolate even if just for 1 day. I will definitely be eating at home tonight, because I don’t feel up to doing so much as the Taco Bell drive through. The only way I am going out at all is if my husband needs me to bring him lunch at work.
In the shadow behind the drapes,
heart aglow and beating,
living illustration of a lost
red charm.
Allergic to light,
he is happy when unnoticed.
Children talk about him.
Houseplants have faith in him.
The sun-soaked parents don’t believe.
The oysters were alive
when mother extracted
Her pearls.
It is in the dim hiding
places that being is born.
Frightened,
the children watch the feet
that peep out from under the drapes
shift.
Miniature Moon 