
Good Historical Fiction




The soft lassitude
of a day parked by the fire,
like a car primed for a
make out session between
secret sex singers.
A leg soft and gently
dimpled,
an arm resting on the
pillow.
Outside,
a sea of hats I wear
to greet the constraints
of time and truth.
Fingers graze my nipples,
a hand cups my belly.
I have harvested the
secrets planted in my
garden long ago,
and they sit in a vase
drinking heavily from
their water.
She is my mirror,
but softer and more
at home with placid
calm.
The glass fell away from us,
and now we interlace in
front of a fire cooler than us.
Last summer I lost 50 pounds. Then the weight loss stalled. Gradually I got more and more sick of all the calorie restrictions. Sometimes I want chip and dip followed by cake for dessert. So sue me.
Gradually I loosened my rules – and the weight began pouring back over me like caramel on a sundae (now I want a sundae).
At this point I am not sure what direction to take things. If I go back to strictness and self control I can go back to the weight I was and then lower. Wearing smaller clothes is nice. The way people treat you when you are thinner is great.
At the same time, I really enjoy food and I miss eating what I want when I want. My husband likes me this way and doesn’t want me to diet. I diet to please our small society, but I like food. My husband loves me at this weight. Who am I trying to please?
At this point I am really on the fence. I might start dieting strictly again – 1000 calories a day or less. Painting can provide a distraction again to keep my hands busy. I have been painting this whole time anyway, but I could alter my focus. Set daily goals. Just drink water.
But I really want coke and pizza right now, my husband wants me, and I am happy. Not sure what to do.


Verdant veracity of the
vertebrate lawn rumbling
in an amalgamation of tongues
about the dangers of sunglasses.
In the house I drink my sunscreen.
The fly watches from
his trap embittered.
I’ll move through death
like a wind in my veil.
He’ll stay still and desiccate.
The lawn has done the
back-breaking work of drawing
meaning from dirt.
I can’t see the arms through
all the wisps of greenery,
but something is being
grasped preciously,
the edge of the sidewalk,
and the personhood of the
greenery is undoubtable.

This picture sums up a huge part of my personality. It is one small portion of my ribbon and washi tape collection. I love all the colors and patterns and all the glitter!
