Construction paper everywhere. I feel the colors with my fingertips. A rainbow of raw, unfettered childishness and possibility. The garden of papers that was a rainy day recess in Connecticut necessity. I had castles in mind. Later on I would mug Baudelaire and I found the mechanism of “beauty is truth, truth beauty,” ticking away like a watch in his left pocket. On this day, though, raindrops trample over me. My glaring deficiency of virtue and economy are on a television for everyone to marvel at whether they want to or not. Some day in the not too distant past I will get up and turn it off. Fear is an organist playing “Bitch” by Meredith Brooks, over and over again in the corner.