Tag: happiness

Excitement

 

I am a very passionate person, in every sense of the word. And one of the things that excites me is bright color. The perfect neon of these flowers, the plant of which I named Sunshine, brought me bliss. I love art for the colors. Line is secondary to me. I like bright, rainbow colors. I love the blending and the contrast between them.

I’ve discovered a course on Coursera that shows how abstract painters make their paintings. I am going to watch it in the next day or two to learn some tricks. I’ll never be a great painter, or even a good one, but I miss playing with color and texture. I saw a painting at the museum Craig and I went to the other week that looked like it was made out of cake frosting. That is the kind of texture and weight I want my paintings to have. I want to learn how to make the colors tango together.

I am passionate in other ways too. Some of my poems are erotic. Very erotic.  Not all of my poems of course. I don’t have a completely one track mind. But in all my writing there is a passion for sex or for color or for the moodscape of the mind, for words and their immense charms.

My passion for learning started when I was very young. As a kid, I used to accompany my mother to her university and sit in the library reading academic journals while she was taking classes. I consume nonfiction rapidly. I love history, culture, art history, psychology, sociology, faith, and more.

Poetry and art consume me. Desire consumes me. Knowledge fills me without satiating me.

Life is just too short. I don’t think I’ll ever have the time to learn everything I want to learn, write everything in my head that longs to be written, to create everything that makes my eyes itch.

My inspiration and creativity wax and wane, and right now they are high. I need to keep learning new things, start painting, write more.

Little Friend 1

Yesterday we went to Lowe’s looking for an aerator. While we we were there we ended up walking through the garden section I fell in love with a type of flower, one in yellow and one in orange.  I’ll post the yellow one later.

These flowers are my new little friends! They are so cute and were so adoptable. I now have them potted and in front of the porch. I’ve actually never bought my own potted flower before. I love my little friends. I need to name them. I think the yellow one might be Sunshine (original, right?), but I’m not sure about this one.  Tangerine would be cute, but she isn’t really the color of a tangerine. She is so fiery, like the sun. Maybe I will name her Corona. Wait, that goes together! Sunshine and Corona! And they are sisters!

I’m so happy!

Housewife

Grateful skirts swirl in a breeze maybe meant for them.

Design is Holy,

is enamored of its Designer,

is a crossroads of means and ends.

A housewife manufactures sunshine in her laboratory,

the beakers from the store always having a sale,

her thesis supervised by green,

and critiqued by her children.

After 20 years who will know whether the

skirts were mended or replaced?

Just that they were infused with laughter

and smelled like mother in the living room

living with her eyes full.

 

Translated into Afrikaans and Xhosa, then back:

 

Skirts twirl in the grateful air
they were meant for.

Design and the Holy Spirit,

are enamored

of each other.

Is the intersection of the cross where it all begins?

The woman who produced the sun in her lab,

is studying all the ways you make happiness from the mundane.

Her thesis is green from watching her children.

After 20 years will you know that

the aprons can be repaired or replaced?

You will appreciate the humor.

She won’t.

 

 

skirts and gratitude for the atmosphere,

either of them.

Design and Holy Spirit,

make enamored designs,

are the ends on the cross.

The woman who makes the sun in her lab,

Her laboratory in Delaware furnished by a company

in Hong Kong.

Her thesis supervision is green.

So is the clock looking at her children’s energy,

their youth,

her youth.

After 20 years you will know that

the skirts can be repaired or replaced.

As you appreciate the humor in

And sort mothers by whether they baked cookies or used the microwave.

In her eyes you live fully,

live fully alone.

Gratitude, Meds, Creativity

My mood dropped a lot last night. I didn’t even finish my hot bath.  I have been uneven lately. I think my antidepressant is starting to burn out. To ward off any deep plunges, I did take double the dose a couple of times last week and that raised me up. But as soon as I stopped taking double I dropped again (yesterday). My antidepressants periodically burn out on me and I have to switch to something different. I am going to ask when I see my psychiatrist on Wednesday. Until then I will be taking double doses to keep myself going and functional and creative. Last night I asked Craig to wake me up before he went to work this morning just long enough for me to take my antidepressants early so that they would kick in by the time it was time for me to get up. The plan worked so I intend to try again. Maybe this can help keep my mood stable and help me wake up earlier in the morning. When antidepressant kicks in it energizes me. So it may be that by taking it at 6 something in the morning I’ll be awake by 8 or 9.

To help boost my mood, and because it is always a good practice, I want to list some things I am grateful for.

1. My mother and father. I am so glad they are in my life. They are wonderful parents and grandparents.

2. My sister. She is a good sister and a great aunt to Angelica.

3. Taco Bell. What can I say? I like their cheese quesadillas.

4. That I live in Hampton Roads where the Mexican restaurants have that white dip.

5. My library. It is a privilege and a pleasure to own a library full of books.

6. My cute yellow cottage. My house is perfect for me and my family. Perfect look, perfect size, perfect design, and for my husband, the perfect location.

7. Plus size stores. Plus size clothing options are still limited, but I know that there is a lot more available today than what there used to be.

8. That I got my car back Saturday from having work done on it since that lady crashed into me.

9. I am grateful to live in a time where there is so much art and music and literature readily available.

10. I am grateful to be short. I just like being petite.

Today I am at the library studying African poetry. Some countries I love. Others not as much. Overall though, I thoroughly enjoy African poetry and this Penguin volume of poetry from each country in Africa is quite educating for me. As usual, reading poetry inspires me to write poetry so I have been getting a lot of writing done. I will post that writing here, though I am not certain some of it is so good. But it feels good to create and be mentally active. Plus, I don’t want to lose any of my work and I use this blog to archive it so I need to post my poetry.

 

 

Happiness and Love and Light

I feel at peace, like nothing can touch me. I am happy with my husband, happy as a mother. I’ve found God. I am creatively fulfilled with my writing. I have images and visions in my head all the time, and I get to spend my life trying to capture them on paper. I can explore other dimensions through writing poetry.e

I am joyful under my veil, ecstatic looking out my window. I am a writer, which I always wanted to be. I’m a housewife, which is the opposite of what I used to want to be, but I have found a lot of tranquility and freedom in it.

I love poetry. I am passionate about all the colors of the rainbow. I adore my daughter’s voice. I’m in awe of my husband’s love. I am complete.

List of things I love:

-My husband

-my baby girl

-my poetry

-my library

-silence

-film scores

-songs in minor key

-color

-God

-the Bible

-my veils

-the ocean

-scrapbooking