Excitement

 

I am a very passionate person, in every sense of the word. And one of the things that excites me is bright color. The perfect neon of these flowers, the plant of which I named Sunshine, brought me bliss. I love art for the colors. Line is secondary to me. I like bright, rainbow colors. I love the blending and the contrast between them.

I’ve discovered a course on Coursera that shows how abstract painters make their paintings. I am going to watch it in the next day or two to learn some tricks. I’ll never be a great painter, or even a good one, but I miss playing with color and texture. I saw a painting at the museum Craig and I went to the other week that looked like it was made out of cake frosting. That is the kind of texture and weight I want my paintings to have. I want to learn how to make the colors tango together.

I am passionate in other ways too. Some of my poems are erotic. Very erotic.  Not all of my poems of course. I don’t have a completely one track mind. But in all my writing there is a passion for sex or for color or for the moodscape of the mind, for words and their immense charms.

My passion for learning started when I was very young. As a kid, I used to accompany my mother to her university and sit in the library reading academic journals while she was taking classes. I consume nonfiction rapidly. I love history, culture, art history, psychology, sociology, faith, and more.

Poetry and art consume me. Desire consumes me. Knowledge fills me without satiating me.

Life is just too short. I don’t think I’ll ever have the time to learn everything I want to learn, write everything in my head that longs to be written, to create everything that makes my eyes itch.

My inspiration and creativity wax and wane, and right now they are high. I need to keep learning new things, start painting, write more.

Creativity is Frightening

I recently read Vinita Hampton Wright’s book, “The Soul Tells a Story.” In it she talks about how creativity is frightening and can make us uncomfortable. It can, too. Sometimes I am too afraid to write poetry. I want to write a poem, but I’m afraid to dive in. I’m frightened of that place in my soul and my mind. It’s so deep that I’m almost afraid I won’t be able to get back out again.

I ordered a bunch of books about the intersection of Christianity and creativity. A couple are old favorites, but some are new. There were a bunch more I wanted, but I’m going to have to wait to get those. I am fascinated by the intersection of Christianity and the creative life. There’s a seminary program I’m interested in that centers around that very subject. It’s worship arts. However, I can’t spend a year in Dallas, so it simply isn’t going to work out.

When we create, we are being like our Creator. There is immense power that flows through us onto the page or the canvas. People talk so much about mirroring God and they mention so many great things, like mercy, justice, and sacrifice. But they leave out a key component. If you want to be like your Creator you must create. My drive to create poetry comes from my Creator. Most of my individual poems come from Him too, even when they aren’t on religious subjects.

We are made in the image of God in so many ways, and this is definitely one primal, fundamental way we are made to be like God. Create a new recipe in the kitchen. Draw a portrait. Write a poem. Write a novel. Scrapbook. Make digital art. Dance. I believe we are stronger mentally and spiritually when we engage in some kind of creative outlet. God calls each of us to do things a different way.  Human beings are like snowflakes – no two are alike. Although it is a cliche that has embedded itself indelibly in our cultural psyche, it is true.

Lately I’ve been so creative that I think I’ve been overwhelming people. I’ve been writing poem after poem. I’ve made dozens of faith collages – collages where I take beautiful art and photography I find online, make collages out of them, edit them, and add Bible verses. I am bombarding my blog and my Instagram. I can’t hardly help myself. Sometimes I am more creative, sometimes less. But right now my cup overfloweth. I know at some point I’ll hit a wall and need to rest my head for awhile, but until I’m there I’m going to create as much as I possible can. I may start creating abstract alcohol ink paintings, which are my favorite. I actually bought a little alcohol ink painting on tile when we were on vacation and I love it. It is in my curio cabinet. I think I’ll do alcohol inks when I’m done with collages for awhile.

Right now I am so deep in creativity that I am wearing my mind out. I have allowed myself to dive all the way in, to fall into the glittering abyss of creative passion. I am expressing myself and dying to myself at the same time. My creativity runs me. It is as though I am a mere conduit for ideas that come from somewhere outside of me, and I think they are from above.

Sometimes you have to create for you or for a few friends. I know some people, even many people, don’t like my collages. Not every one likes loud colors, especially so many bright images together – and I edit images to be loud! But I love them, and I make them for me as an act of worship to God. They reflect my joy in Him, and my personality. I share them because a few other people seem to like them and if even one person enjoys the scripture or the images I will be grateful.

Create something for God. Create something for you. Create something to share with other people. The more art, literature, dancing, and theater there is in the world, the better the world will be.

 

 

Bible Journaling

A woman in a Christian group that I’m in posted a couple of beautiful, colorful collages with Bible verses and Jesus on them. I asked who did them and she said she didn’t know, but that she had a whole bunch on her profile that I could download. I did just that and I’ve begun posting them to Instagram, putting a call out to find the person who made them. But it gave me the idea to make some myself, and look up my own Bible verses that I like. Instead of using paintings, which is not all but most of what she uses, I am downloading free stock photography, making collages, and editing the pictures with an app I really like, then adding a verse.

I think this may be my new way of Bible journaling. I may even start a separate Instagram for these images, but for now they are mixed among my poetry and family photos. I have tried Bible journaling in a Bible before, but I hate to cover the verses with anything. Not to mention, I have no talent. I can neither draw nor paint. So my Bible journaling did not really work out. Instead of worshiping through the creation of art, I was just sullying Bible verses. But this allows me to worship and make something beautiful to share with the world. I am creating beautiful art for the Lord. Obviously the work isn’t all mine, but the selection of images, arranging of images, editing of images, and choosing the verse are all me. I am using multiple, stunning tools to create something in worship of the Lord.

This makes me happy. I am always looking for an outlet for creativity and worship. Some of my poems are about God, but many are not. While my theology is infused in everything write, most of it is not overt. I still offer my poetry to the Lord and give joyful thanksgiving for the inspiration and creativity he gives me to write. But I wanted a way to really dig into the Bible with my creativity. I am so happy right now that I have found something.

Soon I might start doing alcohol ink on tile. I have been looking at some gorgeous alcohol ink online and I kind of want to try my hand at it. I tried my hand once before and got mixed results, but why not try again? Someone suggested to me that I should use my blow dryer to create really cool designs. I love the colors and abstract designs. Some alcohol ink artists create realistic, concrete images with their ink, but I’m not really interested in doing that. I like abstraction, pure color, and random designs. In everything I do, from poetry, to art, to worship, I focus on color.

I have been reading poetry and writing poetry. In short, I am going through a real creative renaissance right now. I hope it keeps up.

Prayer: Thank you God for the opportunity to worship you with my passions and gifts. I pray that what I offer to you, through all my creative work, is pleasing to you. Thank you for my gifts and opportunities. Where you close one door, you open another. In Christ’s name, Amen.

Art History

Quiet art history is just as dazzling as fireworks,

the artist’s eyes fluttering open in the morning an explosion of a bomb.

See the veracity of the paintbrush,

The verifiable anguish in colors prone to roam the white space,

the place where luck dies.

What arguments have painters had with invalid ideas,

high on their laudanum and making no sense to anyone but

the artist, a doctor for chartreuse concepts that long to be a lively lime.

What canonical cloudscapes inspired the Sistine chapel?

What childish memory provoked David?

Mother and Poet

I want my life to be an example of creativity and beauty to my daughter. Being a mother has completed me in some inexplicable way. It is as though I was born her mother, and Angelica’s birth was just a stage in my life cycle. When she was born it was as if I was a butterfly emerging winged from a snow white cocoon.

Because she completes me, and she widens my world, she has deepened my poetry. Motherhood has also been good for my productivity. It gives me less time to write. That may seem counterintuitive, but it is true. By allowing me less time to write, motherhood makes me focus when I do have time to write. Sometimes having all the time in the world just makes one fritter away time. When you become a mother, you appreciate time. That said, I still need my husband’s support for my writing. He lets me have a wonderful babysitter twice a week and gives me time to myself in the evening to read and write. Reading is the life blood of writing. A mother without any support and many children may find creating great literature next to impossible. Woolf was right when she said a woman needs money and a room of her own to write. But given critical aid, motherhood can enhance poetry.

Motherhood:

-Reinvigorates me and gets my creative juices flowing

-Enriches my life and gives me more to write about.

-Makes me make the most of my time. I am super productive because I know how limited my time is.

Before I met my husband I intended to go to an MFA program before starting a family. I thought two to three years with nothing to worry about but writing would be ideal. Now that life has taken me down a different path, I see that for me nothing is further from the truth. Motherhood and the awesome responsibility it entails gives me a purpose, something everyone who wants to write should have. If your whole existence is writing, you may find you have nothing to write about. See the proliferation of novels and short fiction about writers/MFA students by writers/ MFA students.

This is not to denigrate MFA programs, which can be wonderful. I am simply saying that motherhood has in many ways been a rigorous training ground for my poetry, and that the breadth of experience it provides me is nutritional for my fertile mind.