The naturalized sky
does not fit in here,
stylizes himself after
the hapless fop in the café.
Before the sky signed up
with us,
I was like a firefly
in a jar with no lid—
except I was too stupid
to leave.
Before sky,
we had limitless
and endangered.
Now we have a cap
binding our angels
closer to us,
and selling our demons
into our authoritarian world.
Ether is just a dandy,
the accumulation of
blue, just garish.
He doesn’t belong here.
Everyone is looking
at him.
Crows circle my condo,
nest on the roof to taunt
the hawks.
The sweet vibrations of
a busy week well up
from the foundation.
My days are painted
with doors
over a base coat of darkness.
I take my sacred wishes
out to the trash.
Crows will collect them.
Hawks grab me on my way
back to home.
The wanton thunder laps up
the silence.
Sweat from a world of
goals spills out over the street.
My skin is dry.
Oceans in my ears
receive cargo ships of lead.
Fishing in front of the shops,
the woman with
an unknowable face.
She is the only one
Who has an umbrella,
The only one who doesn’t
Need one.
I want her to speak a
language of breeze behind
my ear,
letting her fingers wander
over my shoulders then down.
The flavorful ghost of
pink will hover over us.
I have nothing to grip
but my body when her hands
dip lower
like cloth into a basin.
In my glitter book
I write stories.
Adverb symphonies,
I explain preciously.
Expediently
is always precocious.
The problem with plot
is a lack of self-awareness.
Leaving my pen to face
her fears on the precipice
of the table,
I see the morning’s
crumbs
rearrange—
spell,
but why should I care?
On the rise. Physically and mentally I am improving. I am sitting down while Angelica gets tutoring.
Craig is liking his new job and I am so happy for him. I miss him though. He is already working late hours, and he is on week one of training with his predecessor. His previous schedule constantly rotated between days, swings, and mids during the week, so he was exhausted. That schedule was awful for him and I am glad he’s done with it. However, the one advantage of that job was that we had a ton of family time. We really loved that, especially since he was just coming off a sea tour.
I doubt we will ever have family time like that again.
It is May 9th and it has been snowing today. Nothing that sticks this time, but still – it’s mid May.
Soon I will be taking Angelica on a mommy daughter date. She misses them. It has been a month now. She is going on a daddy daughter date this weekend.
I am in a state of bliss listening to lectures on Great Courses. I am diving into linguistics, natural history (dinosaurs and terror birds!!!), and dystopian and utopian fiction. It is the intellectual joy of college without the expense of actually getting another degree. I do take notes sometimes though. I can’t help myself.
Rivers of diamond water
cascade along the coast.
Men dip their hands in the water
come out like living seizures.
Coming and going in the rivers,
Laser beams.
Women on the shore
Collect sharp rocks.
My husband is cloaked
in information.
When he slips my pelerine
off my shoulders,
the heat of my borrowed home
sinks into my chest,
exhausted.
Mouth on mine,
he breathes empire into me.
Always his tongue studded
in stats.
Interested,
I absorb his mind.
I absorb everything.
I absolve the world of nothing.
My husband kisses me
with countries I’ll never see.
With all his facts he
warms my figure.
I got Angelica’s speech and tutoring appointments rescheduled. I am not leaving the house. Worn out. Very tired. Depressed.
While I am at home I hope to revise some of my poetry and get it ready. I am trying to clear my head.
I am tired. I am depressed. I need to isolate even if just for 1 day. I will definitely be eating at home tonight, because I don’t feel up to doing so much as the Taco Bell drive through. The only way I am going out at all is if my husband needs me to bring him lunch at work.
Miniature Moon 